As Comfortable as Possible

Susan was completely unresponsive today, but we are all going on the assumption that she can still hear us and continue to talk to her. I'm still going through my Google photos year by year with her describing them as she cannot see them. Once in a while, I'll message people photos from years past if they are in them.

Early in the morning, Susan's breathing rate was up, and in an effort to make her more comfortable, I administered morphine a couple of times. That seemed to do the trick as she has been breathing normally ever since. I changed her clothes and sheets once late morning, moisturized and massaged her, and am putting a yoga blanket on alternating buttocks to ease the pressure of the skin on her tailbone. Tonight, I moisturized her face with her favorite face cream. I am keeping her mouth moist with mouth swabs given to us by Eithne, her hospice nurse.

As Susan is no longer drinking, I can't imagine that it will be much longer. Mina and Kenny are spending the night here in case it is tonight (Dylan is staying at the house). I've talked it over what happens with the kids. I will wake them up if necessary. I am leaving the decisions up to them for various things unless they want me to make decisions for them. For example, when they come to take Susan's body away, will they want to be present?

One unexpected thing happened this afternoon. Buddy, our Sheltie, who has been fairly distant since Susan came back from the hospital, all of a sudden started pacing restlessly and jumped up on the hospital bed several times and quickly back down, something he has not done. I wonder if something shifted and he now senses something. (Moro, Mina's Pomsky, has been jumping up onto the bed every day when he comes).

I'm going through all sorts of motions tying up whatever immediate loose ends I see. I am very apprehensive of what the next 24 to 48 hours will bring. I am able to sleep only in short spurts now, but am comfortable doing so with such a great support system around me.

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